What is Passion in Dating? (And Why Should We Care?)

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Today I want to talk about passion in dating.

Why? Because among some of the qualities that women use to describe an amazing man (and lover), a PASSIONATE man is one of them.

Now originally, the image this would conjure up for me is a man on the cover of a romance novel… some romantic hero dreamt up by a woman that rides on horseback, has long flowing hair and leads crusades for a woman’s love. That’s the image it conjures and I don’t think it is desirable or helpful to me (or men in general)…

I don’t ride horses, but there are elements of those so-called “romantic heroes” that touch upon what I see as living from passion, but it is not how they are as lovers that makes them a passionate man. It is their total investment in their vision.

I am a huge fan of the movie Braveheart. Think of William Wallace – he had a strong vision that was so compelling and so moving to the men around him that his cause was ultimately won and his vision was realized into reality. To women, he was a passionate lover, but it wasn’t because that was his aim. He was a man who passionately pursued his vision as a path in life… His path was not to bed hot women, but that certainly was a bi-product of his journey.

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Now from a practical discussion standpoint, how did I come upon living from passion toward my vision? Well, to put it simply, I have dedicated myself (for the past 20 weeks now) to investing in my vision EVERY SINGLE DAY, consistently. I do not miss a day.

What does this look like? Well, for 30 minutes a day (dispersed throughout the day in 5, 10 or 15 minute blocks), I focus my mind entirely on how I want life to be for me. How I want the world to be. How I want my projects to be. I focus exclusively and entirely on exactly what I want, without any interference from negative thoughts or a problem-solving mindset (the “how could I possibly do this!?! mindset”).

And after each period of focus and mental investment in my vision, I let it go. I don’t need to hold up my vision all day, like Atlas holding up the world. I let it go and the rest of the day the only effort I make is to abandon any negative train of thought as immediately as possible, the moment it hits me. I call it “weeding out the negatives”.

Now a lot of people these days talk about the power of attraction and whatnot. And a lot of people scoff at “The Secret”, where their interpretation of the message is that you just imagine being a millionaire and all of a sudden, you are.

First, I don’t interpret the Secret that way, but I don’t really care how other people do or don’t interpret the message. My point here is that I absolutely, positively take massive action daily towards my goals.

Where investment in my vision helps is not that it just *poof* creates my vision out of thin air. Instead, it focuses my mind, my inspiration, my creative forces, the way I interact with others, etc. etc. toward my vision. I have such a clear and compelling vision that setbacks are not an issue… This solves the fundamental problem (for me) of getting in my own way, getting distracted or letting myself convince myself NOT to do what I really, truly want to achieve. It stops me from giving up, getting scared or getting overwhelmed.

And that unstoppable living force I have towards my goals? I call it passion.

… thoughts?


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